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You’re Invited, But Please No Gifts – Ideas for a Gift Free Birthday Party

July 1, 2016 by Jennifer 11 Comments

Do you ever get sick of the sheer amount of STUFF your kids accumulate? And then birthday season rolls around, and all of a sudden the toy bins are literally bursting at the seams. The notion of throwing a gift free birthday party had started crossing my mind more and more frequently over the last couple of years.

Then all of a sudden I started seeing this very idea pop up on some major blogs like Living Well Spending Less Why We Say No to Gifts, and Your Modern Family Best No Gift Birthday Party. Were they reading my mind? Was this already a trend I was not aware of?

Ideas for a Gift Free Birthday Party - Have you ever thought about throwing a party and asking for donations instead of gifts?

It was one thing when we were living on a super tight budget. We looked forward to being able to spruce up the old toy bins for our little girl, because we never really bought her anything. And she’s received some really cool gifts at her birthday parties that she still uses.

But then time went on and we started accumulating more and more stuff. And we accumulated another kid. And no matter how often we purged, the stuff just kept growing.

Opening Presents

It’s gotten to the point where our daughter really, truly, does not need a single new thing. So would it really be that terrible if we asked guests not to bring a present to a birthday party? Would they listen? We’ve even been to a few parties where the kids didn’t open the presents until days later, and they were totally fine with not having the pomp and circumstance in front of their friends. They just wanted to play. I would too!

Lo and behold, a good friend did what I’ve wanted to do for years. They were getting ready to move, and when we got the 5 year old’s birthday invitation in the mail, it requested that people contribute to a Plumfund for a new swing set instead of giving gifts that they would have to haul three states away. GENIUS!

Now I feel like the seal has been broken. Someone in our circle of friends bit the bullet and requested no gifts. There were a couple  of people who just couldn’t resist, but for the most part people listened. Being the procrastinator that I am, I just now got on to the site to give towards the swing set (the party was three weeks ago) and it appears that enough people contributed to at least put a large dent in the cost.

I’m completely sold on the idea. It’s not like I’m suggesting we get rid of Christmas or anything. And people will argue why take that joy away from your child. And if you think it would ruin your kid’s birthday, then let there be gifts.

But I can tell you, in the six birthday parties I’ve thrown for my kids, not once have they asked when it was time to open presents. Quite the opposite in fact… we usually have to drag them away from playing in order to get the present opening out of the way.

No Gift Birthday Party

I do feel that people have a hard time not giving a kid ANYTHING for their birthday. So it seems like offering an alternative gives you better odds of having guests follow your request. These are the ones that I’ve debated using over the years, and I just may start to implement:

•Have your child pick a charity for guests to donate to in their name

Make it easy and put the direct link on the invitation with detailed instructions.

•Ask for them to contribute to a college fund

We’ve set up specific college fund accounts that are easy to have people contribute to.

•Collect for a larger gift 

Like my friend above who set up a Plumfund account. We often do this as a family, but why not get friends involved as well?

•Do a book exchange

Technically this involves your guests bringing a wrapped book. But then after they’re all opened, each kid gets to take a book home with them. Plus then you don’t have to do gift bags!

•Ask for wrapped donations

If you really want your child to open presents, ask people to bring a toy, stuffed animal, clothes, or pretty much anything that can then be donated to someone like Big Brothers Big Sisters.

UPDATE – We threw an Animal Shelter Donation Birthday Party for my daughter’s 6th birthday, and it was a huge success. I’m thinking we’ll try a book exchange for my son’s birthday in the winter.

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Related

Filed Under: Favorites, Parenting, Toddlers & Elementary Tagged With: birthday, gift, gifts, no, party

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Arden | The-Grandma-Blog says

    July 2, 2016 at 8:35 am

    It really is amazing how the STUFF does accumulate, right? I can definitely see some no-gift parties. Very interesting post!
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      July 2, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      I mean, as long as it's not traumatizing... which I don't think it would be.
      Reply
  2. Megan says

    July 2, 2016 at 9:32 am

    I've thought about this too. Another fun thing may be to have the child brainstorm on a "bigger" ticket item (like afore mentioned swing set) and understand the concept of saving for something they really want. Maybe if this money a certain percent goes to charity or a college fund.
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      July 2, 2016 at 12:51 pm

      I like it!
      Reply
  3. Tess says

    July 2, 2016 at 9:40 am

    This was definitely the BEST thing we ever did!! I knew that some would get him a gift to open, in fact, I was guilty of that ? BUT I knew the majority would put their money towards his BIG gift. I'm so excited for him to get to pick out his swing set that everyone helped contribute to...in fact, we're on our way to go see them. If anyone is thinking of doing something like this for their next party...DO IT!! You'll be so glad you did!!
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      July 2, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      How fun, I can't wait to see what he gets!
      Reply
  4. Nedalee says

    July 16, 2016 at 10:49 am

    I was thinking of doing this for an upcoming wedding.
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      July 16, 2016 at 10:58 am

      Oh great idea... that's a whole other level of gift giving/receiving!
      Reply
  5. Cheryl says

    September 20, 2016 at 10:51 am

    We have done this with our daughter (just turned 6!) for the past few years. We have found that it works okay with friends, but grandparents have a harder time saying no to the physical gifts, when in reality they are making up for lack of time spent together. To find balance is key. If we have too much we give it away to someone who truly needs it. Great to teach children young though, that they do not need to keep everything they receive.
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      September 20, 2016 at 4:33 pm

      Thanks Cheryl, it's nice to hear it works not just in theory but in reality as well... even if family doesn't always abide:)
      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. How to Throw an Animal Shelter Donation Party for Your Kid's Next Birthday says:
    May 29, 2017 at 5:18 pm
    […] You’re Invited, But Please No Gifts – Ideas for a Gift Free Birthday Party […]
    Reply

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Welcome, I'm Jen! I'm here to offer realistic (sometimes semi-green) parenting, eating, and homemaking tips so that you can embrace life and let go of perfection. Because if I can do it, you can do it! Get to know more of Jen →

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