• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

The Search for Imperfection | If I Can Do It, You Can Do It

It doesn't have to be perfect, the joy is in the imperfection

  • About
    • About Jennifer
    • Media Kit
    • Disclosure & Privacy Policy
    • Contact
  • Food & Drink
    • Recipes
    • Meal Plans
    • Drinks
    • Party Food
    • My Guest Post Recipes
  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy & Babies
    • Toddlers & Elementary
    • Feeding Your Littles
    • Working Parents
    • 10 Minutes (or Less) Hair Tutorials for Girls
  • Homemaking
    • Crafts & DIY
    • Party Planning
    • Money
    • Scentsy
  • Living
    • Random Musings
    • Semi-Green Living
    • Getting Outside
    • Holiday and Gift Guides
  • All Posts
  • TSFI Shop
This post may contain affiliate links for your convenience, which means at no additional cost to you, I may earn a comission if you click through and make a purchase. Thank you!

Why We Stopped Eating Family Dinner at the Table

May 24, 2017 by Jennifer 4 Comments

When it comes to sitting down and eating a nice family dinner at the table every night, do you feel like there must be a secret you’re missing out on? How can social media make dinner time look so enjoyable, when all it makes you want to do is lock yourself in a closet for the rest of the evening, or scream at the top of your lungs?

I feel your pain. I’ve read those same articles about the amazing benefits of eating dinner together as a family. That’s why at one point, I was OBSESSED with making family dinner time work out. Turned out, I couldn’t hold a civilized meal at the table to save my life. No matter what I tried.

Why We Stopped Eating Family Dinner at the Table

Dinner time became an absolute disaster. I felt like I was failing as a mom. I tried everything. Every trick in the book. Every suggestion. Every game. Every bribe. All the consistency and sternness in the world. And after five years of trying everything. I found the solution.

STOP TRYING!

Now before you start thinking I gave up too quickly or too easily, let’s go back to the beginning of family dinner time in my house. The idea of sitting down as a family embraced all I felt a family should be. In fact, the main room in our house is the dining room.

I bought a large, farmhouse style dining room table before we even had kids, envisioning meaningful family meals there. The kids would eat everything we did, and become exotic foodie lovers like their parents. Never in a million years would we make something different for the kids to eat than we were eating. But that’s a different story.

All this is to say, I did not let go of the idea of a family dinner without putting a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into making it work. And occasionally it still does. But rarely during the week.

Why We Stopped Eating Family Dinner at the Table

The PROS of Eating Family Dinner at the Table

Have you read what “they say” (who is they anyway) about the benefits of eating dinner together as a family? It all sounds wonderful… in theory. And I believe that if it actually went down as planned, these things would all be true.

  • It encourages healthy eating habits
  • Dinner conversation is a vocabulary booster for kids
  • Kids tend to make better food choices overall
  • Everyone benefits from quality time together
  • It’s a great way to connect with family

The REALITY of Eating Family Dinner at the Table

  • Healthy eating habits are more than just the specific foods consumed. They also have to do with your attitude toward food and mealtimes, and an hour spent cajoling, yelling, pleading, and arguing with your kids is not instilling healthy eating habits.
  • There is no time for conversation when you are:
    1. Too busy yelling at your kids to stop playing and eat
    2. Spending the entire dinner telling your kids to sit back down
    3. Trying every trick in the book to get your kids to eat dinner, instead of cherishing the quality time this is supposed to be
  • The time spent together is not quality, there is no connection other than frustration.
  • The frustrations are creating a negative association with meal time.
  • Most importantly, if you have precious few minutes to connect with your loved ones after work each night… do you really want to spend them under tension and negativity?

Why We Stopped Eating Family Dinner at the Table

Try This Instead

  • Connect in the car – this is one of the ways I parent on 2 hours a day.
  • Make it fun – put a blanket on the floor and have a picnic. Take your food outside and dine al fresco. Keep the dinner plates close by whatever you are doing, and make sure they take bites in between activities.
  • When it’s feasible, try to have the kids eat the same thing you’re eating, regardless of the physical location it’s actually consumed. So, still getting those healthy eating habits going, just in a slightly more free-form way.
  • Get them fed before you get home – I realize not everyone has this luxury. The kids and I don’t get home until after 6:00, so we found it easier for them to eat at the sitter’s (aka my parents) before I pick them up after work. That way, when we get home, the husband and I eat together as we’re watching the kids play outside. Or the kids will sit with us at the table while we eat. But there’s no battle, just family time.
  • Do homework if they have it – ’cause we sure don’t have time to do that if we try to finish a meal together after work.
  • Build elaborate hot wheels tracks – while having the same conversation you would have been at the dinner table.
  • Share positive experiences – while you’re doing WHATEVER you are doing, be sure to share the good parts of your day, and ask what your kids’ favorite part of their day was (this is hard to do between tears at the table).
  • Engage in the same way you would at dinner, just without the yelling, frustration, and hanger.

Remember

The most important thing to remember is, you’re doing great. It’s about finding what works best for your family, not someone else’s, or what someone else says your family dinner time should look like. Life is too short to spend it arguing over the dinner table.  This time goes by so quickly. Try to enjoy it, not dread it. You know what’s best for your family. You got this.

Printables Library

Other posts you may enjoy:

10 Things I’ve Done That Should Get Me Fired as a Parent

6 Ways to Parent on Two Hours a Day

Baby Led “What”-ing? – What Exactly is Baby Led Weaning, and How it Could Save Your Sanity

Related

Filed Under: Favorites, Feeding Your Littles, Parenting, Pregnancy & Babies, Toddlers & Elementary, Working Parents Tagged With: dinner time, family dinner, family meal, meal time

Previous Post: « Weekly Meal Plan 5/21/17 – 66 Weeks of Dinner Inspiration to Help You Eat at Home
Next Post: 15 Father’s Day Gift Ideas That Don’t Suck – Get Him Something He Wants This Year! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kira | A Better Life Lived says

    May 24, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    A beautiful reminder that it's about the family, not the dinner.
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      May 24, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      Thanks Kira, it took me a while... too long probably... to realize that.
      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 6 Ways to Parent on Two Hours a Day says:
    September 23, 2017 at 11:18 am
    […] Why We Stopped Eating Family Dinner at the Table says: May 24, 2017 at 7:02 am […] 6 Ways to Parent on Two Hours a Day […] Reply […]
    Reply
  2. DIY Conversation Jars - Get More Than a "Yes" or "No" Answer Out of Your Kids says:
    September 29, 2017 at 6:51 am
    […] me if this scenario sounds familiar to you: You’re sitting at the dinner table (or somewhere else you like to eat dinner), trying to connect with your kids after a long day. You ask how their day […]
    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Search

Welcome, I'm Jen! I'm here to offer realistic (sometimes semi-green) parenting, eating, and homemaking tips so that you can embrace life and let go of perfection. Because if I can do it, you can do it! Get to know more of Jen →

Free Appetizer eCookbook!

Easy Entertaining Appetizers eCookbook

Don’t Miss Out!

Bonus Access to Our Printables Library

Recent Posts

Lemon Pepper Arugula and Cashew Pesto

Lemon Pepper Arugula and Cashew Pesto

Orange Pale Ale Manhattan - Beer Cocktail

Orange Pale Ale Manhattan – Beer Cocktail

12 Awesome Mother's Day Gift Ideas

12 Mother’s Day Gift Ideas That She Will Actually Love

The Best Mini Crab Cake Recipe

The Best Mini Crab Cake Recipe Ever

Favorite Posts

These are the 10 Best Fondue Dippers to bring to every fondue party

10 Best Cheese Fondue Dippers That Every Fondue Party Needs

Animal Shelter Donation Party

How to Throw an Animal Shelter Donation Birthday Party

Construction Themed Birthday Party

How to Throw a Construction Themed Birthday Party

Best Alternative to Plastic Kids Dishes

The Best Alternative to Plastic Kids Dishes

19 Non Plastic Gifts for Kids

19 Non-Plastic Gifts for Kids – Great Alternatives to Plastic

6 Snacks You Can Feel Good About Serving Your Kids

6 Snacks You Can Feel Good About Feeding Your Kids – Bonus Coloring Page Printable

Like Us On Facebook!

Like Us On Facebook!
Love Scentsy

Footer

Categories

Shop Scentsy

Cute Scentsy Mix and Match Warmers

More Ways to Follow!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email.

Welcome, I'm Jen! I'm here to offer realistic (sometimes semi-green) parenting, eating, and homemaking tips so that you can embrace life and let go of perfection. Because if I can do it, you can do it! Get to know more of Jen →

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Copyright © 2022 · by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress