Welcome to the deep, dark secrets of parenthood. Today I’m exposing myself to the world of judgers, and showing you how easy it is to be a bad mom. We’ve all had those moments as parents that we hope no one saw. Yet those moments are rarely shared with others. This perpetuates the notion of perfect parenting.
There’s a chance I’m the only bad mom that’s ever done these things, but I’d be willing to bet they are more common than anyone would like to admit (especially #5). Ultimately, if you’ve ever done anything questionable as a parent, welcome to the real world. $#!% happens, we get over it, we move on, and we try to remember to buckle the kid in next time.
The bottom line is, don’t beat yourself up, and don’t compare yourself to what everyone else is doing. Because if people were willing to share their deepest darkest secrets, how would we fool everyone into thinking we were perfect?
How to Be a Bad Mom – 10 Things That Make Me a Terrible Mother
Disclosure – I do not condone nor suggest any of these things. I only share them to prove you can occasionally screw up and still be a great parent.
1) Poopy Hands
That’s right. There are times, sometimes many times, that I change a dirty diaper and barely have time to get the diaper (much less pants) back on. Then start chasing the kid around before realizing that may or may not be poop on my hands, and I may or may not have had a chance to wash them after changing said diaper.
Word of advice, don’t mistake the brown spot on your hand for chocolate… ever.
2) Forgotten Seat Belt
I’m not going to tell you which kid it was. But one time when my baby was only a few weeks old, wrought with exhaustion, I showed up to my destination (not too far from the house) and realized I forgot to strap the baby in the car seat.
I was so freaked out that I quickly buckled the baby in the car seat, just to turn around and unbuckle it and take the baby out of the car. I have only ever told ONE person this story before, so please use it wisely. This is not an endorsement to knowingly endanger your kids’ lives, just a PSA that when you’re tired you forget the most basic of things (like your bra).
There are days that I literally can’t remember the last time my kids had baths. They are fine.
4) I Don’t Change Dirty Diapers
Before you send out CPS, hear me out. Your kid does not like to sleep. Ever. You were out running errands, and by the time you got home he was asleep like a baby in his car seat. You know that the chances of him staying asleep are slim to none, but he needs the nap and frankly you do too.
Somehow you manage to get him out of the car without waking up. As you’re bringing him inside, you catch a whiff of something… Could be pee, could be gas, could be something else. One thing is for sure though, if you change that kid’s diaper then neither of you are getting a much needed nap.
How do you justify this? If your child sleeps through the night, chances are they’ve slept with a dirty diaper before. Just get some sleep!
5) Hiding in the Bathroom
Sometimes I’ll just sit on the toilet with the door locked checking Facebook. They don’t have to know I’m not actually going to the bathroom.
6) Empty Wine
When my 2 year old son notices our wine/beer glasses are empty, he picks them up and carefully carries them over to us saying “uh oh”. Yes, that is a very unfortunate thing to have happen.
7) Falsifying Homework
Some weeks, more and more frequently these days, I’ll sign my daughter’s homework packet saying she’s completed the assignments. She may not have. I know she knows it, she does it eventually. Don’t worry, when she gets out of kindergarten I’ll be more strict with myself.
8) Use the Tube
I have such a love/hate relationship with the television. We got rid of our satellite years ago, and I love the idea of banning my kids from television… HOWEVER, when I’ve got to get stuff done on the weekends and Daddy’s at work, I plop those kids in front of Paw Patrol and buy myself a bit of house cleaning (or me) time.
9) Feed Popsicles for Breakfast
There’s fruit in them, right? Some of them at least. It’s better than candy? I can justify all day…
10) Look Forward to Mondays
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I have immense respect for folks that stay home with their kids. It is a wonderful, special treasure that you get. I on the other hand, sometimes can’t even make it to Sunday morning without longing to be around my coworkers that won’t be yelling “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” literally every. two. seconds.
I cherish these moments, and I cherish the time with my kids so much. It goes all too quickly. But a mamma still needs a break now and then.
Now that you know my deepest darkest secrets, may I tell you that I have amazing, intelligent, well rounded, well loved, well cared for, and well adjusted kids.
These are just some of my imperfections I’m sharing in hopes of making you feel better. Do you have any?
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