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6 Ways to Parent on Two Hours a Day

March 31, 2016 by Jennifer 13 Comments

I want to start by saying, though I love my kids more than life itself, that I would have a tough time being a Stay-at-Home Parent. And don’t even get me started on Work-at-Home Parents, the thought of either makes me want to cry a little bit (ok, a lot). I have so much admiration for Moms and Dads that are able to “stay home” with the kids and remain normal, sane people. Much less those that are able to accomplish anything during the day. HOW DO YOU DO IT?

6 Ways to Parent on 2 Hours a Day

At the other end of the spectrum, I work 8:00 am to 5:00 pm with a 45 minute commute each way. I drop the kids and dog off at their grandparents in the morning, and pick them up on my way home from work. This means that I am gone for eleven hours a day. I’m literally home with the baby for about an hour a day, and the 5 year old about two hours a day. Not to mention squeezing time with the husband in there somewhere, who works closer to home at least.

So how do WE manage to do it? Keep a loving, healthy, close knit household together on two hours a day?

6 Tips for Working Parents

1) TAKE ADVANTAGE OF CAR TIME

Regardless if you’re going five minutes or fifteen, make sure to engage them as much as possible during that time. This is your chance to have quality conversations, either one-sided or two-sided depending on their age, and they can’t run away from you.

There are even times that the two kids will start talking to each other (more like one talks incessantly and the other babbles back) and my heart just melts. I cherish this time with my kids, and I work hard to accurately answer every single “why” question my daughter will ask.

Chatting in the car

2) DON’T TRY TO EAT DINNER TOGETHER

I realize some families are great at making this work, and make it a priority for them. More power to you! But this one was literally killing me. The kids and I get home around 6:15 pm every night. Even when my husband had dinner ready the second we walked in, it was still 6:30 before we were eating and already WELL into the witching hour. Our son who eats like a fiend would be done eating by the time I finally got my plate and sat down, and then our daughter would start in on her routine of turning dinnertime into a two hour process. This was not quality family time.

We had tried everything, when one day my mom so kindly offered to start feeding them before I picked them up. It worked like a charm. I realize this is not an option for everyone, and if so then maybe you are able to all sit down together at 5:00 or 5:30 for dinner, or feed the kids before you eat.

For me it was about getting over the idea of NEEDING to have family meal time together. It is more important that they eat dinner early, when their little bodies are ready for it, and then the rest of the evening can be spent having quality time together.

Once we figured that out, we were able to start spending what little time we have in the evenings being with our kids… not yelling at them to eat or being yelled at by a bored baby. My husband and I are still eating home cooked meals that he has ready when we get home, but there’s no pressure to all sit around the table together struggling to finish a meal. We’re spending more quality time as a family.

3) PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN

I will admit, I am the biggest culprit here. It’s so tempting to want to catch up on all your social media accounts right after work. Don’t do it! All those posts will be there after the kids go to bed. Your kids, on the other hand, will start to think you love your phone more than them.

Then as they get older, we will be begging for their attention, and they will have learned the behavior from us that their electronics are more important than family. Our time is precious, spend it with those that will love you back. I promise, Facebook cannot truly love you back.

Mom on her phone

4) GET DOWN ON THE GROUND

I’m always amazed what a difference this makes. Sure you can put down your phone and watch your kids play while your butt is still parked on the couch. But what is that accomplishing? I can always tell a difference in their attitudes when we play with them, instead of watching them. My husband will help my daughter build intricate Hot Wheels tracks and all of a sudden Daddy is the coolest thing ever. That’s a great feeling.

Dad playing on the ground with his son

5) READ AND SNUGGLE EVERY NIGHT

These are the parenting moments we all live for. Don’t let them pass you by. My husband gets even less time with the kids than I do because he doesn’t get the car time every day, and he works Saturdays so he only gets one weekend day to have family time. Every night he’s the one that helps our daughter brush her teeth, then reads her a book and lays with her.

I’m sure there are tons of people that would argue that laying with your child at night is creating bad sleeping habits. Honestly, who cares? I fully believe that it’s forming a bond that lasts longer than any sleep training will. Like my mom always says… it’s not like they’re going to head off to college needing their parents to lay with them every night.

6) PICK YOUR BATTLES

Seriously, let the little things go. This is another one I struggle with hard core. I have such a controlling, stubborn nature, that I will push the subject just so that I can win the battle. Our daughter has an eccentric flair for fashion, and is famous among our circle of friends for changing clothes at least five times during a given party. For the longest time I tried to get her to at least match when we went out in public. Her idea of matching and my idea of matching are two very different things.

Finally one day I realized, this is not my battle. It is, however, my in-laws’ battle. And our daughter lets them win the fashion battle. So they can have it. We now have fewer tears in the morning, and our time is focused on more important things than whether her socks match her sweater.

Eating was another big one. I was so focused on having the stereotypical home-cooked meal around the dinner table that I lost sight of what was important. That time is so very precious when it’s all you have, that if she wants to eat carrots as her vegetable every night… so be it. There are worse things in the world, such as spending their entire childhood fighting with them. Spend your parenting energy on what’s really going to matter in life, and shaping and molding them to be good human beings.

You may also enjoy:

Why We Stopped Eating Family Dinner at the Table

How to Find Time to Do It All – And Still Have Time for Yourself

How to Camp With Babies and Kids

11 Things to Consider When Raising Dogs and Kids Together

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Filed Under: Favorites, Parenting, Working Parents Tagged With: 2 hours, how to, parent

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Erin says

    March 31, 2016 at 8:11 am

    This speaks to me so much!! I was able to change my schedule to work longer days and then have more days off, but I did the 7:30-5 Monday through Friday and only had at most 2 hours with the kids before they had to go to bed. The dinner thing is huge! I feel the general advice is "eat as a family", but that does not work for us. I was getting home with the kids at 5:30 and my husband was not home until almost 7. Dinner is simple and either made beforehand, and the kids eat as soon as we get home. It allows my few hours with them to be much less fussy and enjoyable. Once dad gets home they are ready for bed and we play on the ground, read books, and spend 30 more minutes together as a family. You posted EXCELLENT advice for moms who work outside the home!
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      March 31, 2016 at 8:32 am

      Thank you so much Erin, I feel like it's all about finding the right balance.
      Reply
  2. Arden | The-Grandma-Blog says

    March 31, 2016 at 8:40 am

    Great suggestions! Very real-life and smart. I especially like the one about really using the car time -- it's too easy to zone out (or try to tune out the kids) when, in actuality, that's a pretty serious addition to your hours together. And the dinner one is great too -- everyone talks about the importance of eating dinner together, but what I think folks often miss (and you hit right on the head) is the important part of that idea is the "together" part, not the "eating dinner" part. If doing dinner a different way makes the space for you to spend better quality time with the kids, then sounds like a great solution. All very good ideas!
    Reply
  3. Malibu Mama Loves says

    March 31, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Great post, very real. It is not so much about dinner together as it is about spending quality time together. For many, a meal time works, but not for everyone. I love that you have found solutions that work for your family. Thank you for sharing, keep up the amazing work. Malibu Mama Loves Xx
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      March 31, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Thanks so much Lindsey. Yeah I sometimes get too caught up in what works for other people, forgetting that doesn't always work for us.
      Reply
  4. Malibu Mama Loves says

    March 31, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Great post, very real. It is not so much about dinner together as it is about spending quality time together. For many, a meal time works, but not for everyone. I love that you have found solutions that work for your family. Malibu Mama Loves Xx
    Reply
  5. Marci Peterson says

    March 31, 2016 at 9:33 am

    A lot of your tips work even for a stay-at-home mom. I think that as a society we are too involved with our phones. We have a better relationship with our phones than our spouses or children. I just wrote a blog post about spending quality time with our spouses, and one of the tips is put away the phone! I love getting down and playing with the kids. Whether it's my own or ones I am babysitting. Now that my girls are teens there isn't as much on the floor playing but whatever we are doing I need to make sure I am 100% involved. If we are playing a game, put the phone down and play the game. It will be more fun for everyone!
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      March 31, 2016 at 9:45 am

      You are so right, Marci. It's about being 100% involved in THEM, not our phones.
      Reply
  6. Amanda Nel says

    March 31, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    It is quality time shared, what a lovely take on parenting! Enjoy them!
    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      March 31, 2016 at 5:13 pm

      Exactly, thanks:)
      Reply
  7. Rania says

    January 13, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    I spent 24/7 with the kids this Christmas break and was about to blow my brains out lol...I love my kids but I am not made to work from home and DEFINITELY admire and RESPECT those that can because I will never have the patience or capacity to do it. We don't eat dinner together either. My kids eat before us as they get home from daycare and school staring and if I don't feed them ASAP then they will grab every single form so snack in the house there is and in the end not eat dinner. My husband works late nights and by the time I got them all set up, put everything where it belongs, they're already done. Would love if you can check out http://the-wardrobe-stylist.com/2017/01/08/thrifty-healthy-skin-tips/ and link up.
    Reply

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